We don’t have many statistics. Or at least I don’t deal with statistics. A lot of people come to me, just last week I was asked the question, "Statistically, how many people drink? How many people have consumed alcohol last year, how many this year?" Madam, I don’t deal with statistics because I don’t have time. You see that we are in a continuous rush. As to how I came to the organization is simple: I was assigned and sent here. My name is Cristian Perșa. I am a missionary priest in the Cluj Archdiocese and I am part of Sfântul Dimitrie Basarabov program. Currently I am both the spiritual adviser and the administrative coordinator of the program. The program has functioned since 2000 in Cluj and was founded by an Orthodox missionary from the United States, and since 2000 works within the Orthodox Archdiocese of Vad, Cluj, and Feleac and tries to give support to church and community. I’ve been in this program since March 2007 when I was appointed by His Holiness Bartomoleu as a missionary priest to this program and I administratively run the program since March 2008. First I would like to tell you that the program seeks thru its information programs and counseling, to give support to those who have problems with alcohol. Also we try to develop programs for evaluation, counseling individuals and the faithful from parishes that are affected directly by the excessive alcohol consumption and other addictions, drugs, and all that. Our program takes place six days a week. We have a day center, located on Neagră Street where we try to offer people a place to spend time other than standing in pubs, bars with their so-called friends and consume alcohol.
All who come here must be sober, first of all.
We also have an information center because a lot of people heard about us and they come here for information. Unfortunately, some don’t return. But some return after a shorter or longer time and try to do something, either for themselves or for their loved ones because, as I believe my colleagues have told you, alcoholism is a disease of denial. So then many of those who come here are caregivers trying to help. But we have pleasant surprises too with some people who have problems and decided to change their lifestyle, because they ended in harsh and serious situations. We try to help those who come here to seek a job, we try to solve their social problems to the best of our abilities. But first of all we try to help them become abstinent. Then if they demonstrate seriousness and willingness we try to help more. We offer those who are poor, some food, I don’t know, canned food, anything, depending on the possibilities we have, but again only when they prove they have an alcohol problem and want to do something about it. Some who come here still drink - but of course, expect all sorts of aid. All who come here have social problems, which all are caused by alcohol.
But our work doesn’t take place only here, every week we go elsewhere: from Monday to Thursday two of our counselors go every day to the Psychiatric Hospital. Doctors there begin to be very understanding and realize that the medicine and what they offer in terms of health there - sure, it's beneficial to them - but often those who receive such treatment at the Psychiatric Hospital, after being released go back to alcohol. The doctors realized that it takes something more than just injections and medicines, and they agreed for us to go there. There are some patients who are in better physical shape and come to AA groups. One of our counselors goes there, chaperones them, brings them up here to the group meeting, then takes them back.
We also go to the outpatient section of the Săvădisla Pulmonary Physiology Hospital. It’s twenty-five kilometers from here. We go there three times a week. Most of those who are patients there have of course serious medical and social problems because of excessive alcohol consumption and to our joy, we have people coming out of there who have recovered their life and health, work and are abstinent. It's pretty hard there.
I have another colleague who is a parish priest, Father Liviu from Sânpaul, he goes there every Thursday. We started about a year ago a catechism class there, we gave a book of catechism each and we started talking about what faith, morality means and everything related in the end to religion, striving this way to make them realize who they are and to get closer to God too, and at the same time to remain abstinent. Certainly we hold service, prayer, prayers for the departed, even requiems, memorials for the dead, because there are many among those who got there having no one anymore, and when they die are buried in the cemetery close by the sanatorium and we go and offer religious services because they are deprived of prayer, of, I don’t know, closeness to God, of having someone to talk to.
It is a hospital environment, which can sometimes depress them. This happens in any hospital, especially in a sanatorium where only now one can see some repairs made with state grants, but I remember the first time I was there, it was unacceptable. It's an old building, in poor shape, unkempt Sure the cleanliness in there meets hospital standards, but still it’s a sanatorium where they’re all sick and many of them think, "I don’t what to live. I am sick. Surely I will die soon." Some of them when they first saw us, priests, were reluctant, recoiled when we went there, I don’t know, to talk to some of them or to give confession, or read them a prayer. Some said, "Which one of us will die next?" But slowly things have changed and we convinced them and explained that our presence there is in fact to help them, to pray for them, to pray together with them and eventually to help them become abstinent, for that's the program’s goal.
We also go with the team, on turns, to the outpatient department of the Psychiatric Hospital in Borșa, about forty kilometers from Cluj and of course people hospitalized there have mental problems, but still there are a few that you can communicate with. There are many who ended up there because of excessive alcohol consumption. There too we try to do all kinds of meditation. I failed to tell you in Săvădisla some groups of Alcoholics Anonymous came together. Even if we don’t go, they gather each day, discuss, we send them "meditations" for each day, they read and discuss them. At present we go only twice a week, though we used to go three times a week, we narrowed our activity, so we could be more present in the city.
We also have a program that we operate in Orthodox parishes. We take a parish; we go in for about four weeks, once a week, usually at the evening vespers. The priest announces ahead of time in church that we will come on Sundays when many people come to church and those who are interested can receive our information.
I strongly believe that even if we manage to bring one out of a thousand people from the parish it’s good. Not all thousand of them consume alcohol, but most of them, and I say that if we manage to help even one man become abstinent, it's a great victory. Certainly, if there are more of them, things are even more encouraging.
I’m saying this to you because the first parish in which we started last year we went eight weeks. And at one point it was only me and the priest. No one came, though the father said on Sundays he receives a lot of requests for prayer in which he is asked to pray for "X" and "Y" who has problems with alcohol, but no one would come to church to receive our aid, or even our information. Finally one person came. First the care taker, then the person who consumed alcohol. In the beginning he was harder to communicate with, but along the way he opened up and recovered and he is now sober. And I said, "It was worth those eight weeks when we went as a whole team, with all kinds of materials." Many times we sat about and discussed between ourselves because there was no one else, but it was worth it. He came, and behold, the family did not break apart, he doesn’t drink alcohol anymore, and they resumed their normal life like any family would have.
This is the program that we operate in parishes.
We also have a program that we operate in Gherla Penitentiary. We have a protocol/agreement with the Maximum Security Prison at Gherla where participants are chosen by the prison staff, and we go once a week, on Thursdays, where we present various topics, talk with them, actually try to do a counseling program so that when they leave prison they should know what to do.
The first cycle that we conducted there, the prisoners they chose had very long convictions, all committed on the basis of excessive alcohol consumption, were sentenced for twenty five years, fifteen years. Certainly, for those freedom is pretty far off, but now we have inmates with shorter sentences, who also committed crimes based on excessive alcohol consumption and they are very receptive. Around eleven, twelve, thirteen people are part of the group. Sure they are very affected emotionally by what happened to them, so, you are overwhelmed by their intense feelings, but I think they are receptive and perhaps by raising their consciousness, letting them know what to do when they come out, perhaps some will come to us, stay close by, and try to remain abstinent.
There too, in Gherla Prison, we started a group of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Sure there are other projects that we undertake. We tried to work with companies, because many employers acknowledged that they have many employees who use alcohol excessively and have problems because of it. Some are more receptive, others less. Here if one worker drinks, no problem, you fire him and hire another one. But when people start to know their rights I think ultimately it's our moral duty to help our neighbor whether you’re an owner or not. And then there are so many companies with good craftsmen, professionals, or with people who have been trained involving time and money expenditure, so employers prefer to give them a chance by sending them to us and that, on one hand helps the employee to stop drinking and become sober, on the other helps the company, because he doesn’t have to retrain another worker, and so we try to go to companies, contact their office of Human Resources.
We even contacted trade unions that are actually closer to people.
I think things start to move and improve from this point of view too.
And then other activities, I don’t know, we have all kinds of radio broadcasts; some activities might escape my memory now. So, we inform family doctor’s offices. We ask for their support since many who drink alcohol end up going there, where else? They have other health problems, troubles, and so they go to the doctor. Here, if you want to go to a hospital or get some blood work done you are forced to go through your family doctor. And we figured that the family doctor knows the family situation, and he can refer his patients to us.
Also last year we sent advisors at the seminar theological school in the citizenry classes to discuss with children what alcohol is, the fact that alcoholism is a disease which, I must admit that when I was sent here by His Holy Grace Vasile I didn’t know that. Sure, I knew that it is a temptation; that it is a great sin, but I did not know that it is deemed a disease.
I remember that was the first thing Floyd, the program coordinator, asked me, and my answer was, "It's not illness, it’s a temptation." He said nothing to me. He gave me a book, "Read it, father, and next week when we meet we’ll talk." The first thing I did when I got home, I read the whole book, from cover to cover – it’s a textbook/manual for priests and doctors written by Floyd Franz, the coordinator, this American Orthodox missionary - and I realized that I made a mistake. I came here uninformed and indeed alcoholism is a disease and should be treated as such.
No other activities I remember now of, but they pop up all the time.
We try to be all the time close to people, to help, to offer spiritual support. Because when you consume alcohol excessively you get estranged from the family, from your close ones, and most certainly get estranged from God. And when you lose God things start to unravel. We try to help them realize that and bring them closer.
I knew at some point a man who when he came here said he didn’t believe in God at all. He was an atheist. And because this program is also a spiritual program he slowly rediscovered, or discovered, God because he did not discover Him until then though he had a fairly advanced age. He began to feel that things are different when you believe in God, when you ask for His help, when you communicate with God through prayer and good deeds. He began to read the Saint Scriptures and realized that without God's help he can’t do anything.
Perhaps that's why I was assigned here, and as far as I know, Floyd was the one who repeatedly asked the Archdiocese of Cluj to send and appoint a priest to the team of social workers, psychologists and other specialists here. And so I got to work in this program.
Well, my opinion is that without God you can’t do anything. I believe that those who come here and accept to receive our help they slowly-slowly discover God. I believe we can’t do anything in life without God.
Sure maybe in their hearts they don’t believe at all, but so many times there is a crumb of faith and maybe they pray to God sometimes. But, I believe that without God they can’t do anything, so they discover Him. When they come here, and read, because I believe those with alcohol problems don’t have enough information, don’t know what to do, don’t know how to behave. Same with their family. Many times I’ve heard, "Well, my husband drinks alcohol excessively. Well, I took his bottle and emptied it in the sink and threw it all out. Or I’d hide it and, well, I don’t know where he found another one and still drank." Then we’d hear from those who consume excessive alcohol, "Well, when I saw my wife throwing my vodka down the sink, I felt I was exploding. I wanted to beat her up and go and buy two bottles." "And?" "And I bought", he says, "and I drank two bottles with even more gusto." But the minute the family, and eventually the one consuming alcohol, figured it out what to do, know how to behave, things changed.
I remember last year, I think someone came in Iași, for this program was implemented in Iași, and Craiova, currently in Moldavian Republic too. Someone came in Iași, a young man who just stopped drinking. Asking how he managed to quit he said because of his wife. His wife heard about the Al-Anon program, for close ones. She went there and learned what to do and how to behave. This gentleman said, "At one point I felt that my wife changed, was different. I didn’t understand why she didn’t yell at me, I didn’t understand why she didn’t cry, why she didn’t throw out my drink. All her behavior was different. As if I had no more reasons to drink." And in a year this woman learning what to do and how to behave and how to deal with him and how to talk to him, persuaded him to come to our program. He came. He said that at one point she brought leaflets for him to read. He says, "At first I threw them, torn them up, but then at some point, I thought, let me read a bit, just have a look. I've just opened them," he says, "when my wife arrived home. I heard that she turned the key in the door. I quickly put them back in place, arranged them so she wouldn’t see that I touched them or that I've read them. I put them back. Well, that afternoon," he says, "I was so restless and wanted her to leave, so I could read further on alone. Out of pride, perhaps, so she wouldn’t see me..." The next day he read them all and slowly the man managed to come to the group. So I think people are definitely different. The only thing is to find the manner and means by which one can be made aware of the problem he has. I think that those who consume alcohol excessively, have moments when they realize the mistakes they make, that they can’t stop, but sure, it's hard to acknowledge that, but with a little help they manage to admit that they are powerless before that first glass.
So I don’t know have statistics for you, but I’m sure it's a serious issue. I don’t think there is any extended family without at least one person consuming alcohol excessively. Almost everyone has someone in the family or a close relative who has such problems. And there are many in the countryside, there are many here in the city, there are very many who can’t drink alcohol in a controlled way, who can’t stop after one glass. I think it's a problem. Well, I think that if we take the statistics of alcohol sales Romania is at the top. Excessive alcohol consumption affects everything: relationships with people, relationships at work. Many companies are having problems with such employees who are not able to go to work without having a drink before or during work. And I think that it’s a very serious problem.
You know what's going on? In general, maybe the lack of strong faith, but I think one reason can be poverty. It’s the, "I don’t have money." Although it may seem paradoxical because normally, at least according to my thinking, if I’m poor and don’t have very much money, well I try to manage that money so it serves me to eat better or to have heat, or to get something useful and not give my little money to alcohol. I think the church had no such program up to now. Certainly priests had tried and try even today, and they talk to them and try to make them realize the problem they have, but there was no prevention work done.
And now it's already late. See, for generations, if you go and look at those who come to AA, they all are forty, fifty years old, they’re coming from another time, the time of communism. That does not mean that there are no alcoholic youth. Alcoholism is disease that progresses over time. They need perhaps ten, fifteen years, so the one who is now twenty, thirty years old for sure in ten, fifteen years from now will end up here too, if he doesn’t stop drinking. All they knew back then, before leaving for work, especially in the countryside, was to take that bottle of alcohol with them either because it was cold, or to get an appetite, and without realizing it
Many come to church asking the priest to take an oath of abstinence. That is they come in front of the Holy Altar, get their hands on the Bible and touch the cross and swear before God that they’ll stop drinking for a period of time. The church uses even today this means through which for a period of time a person won’t drink. Sure there is the possibility he’ll break his oath, which is serious in terms of faith, because once you made a vow to God and you have broken it, His wrath and punishment will descend on you. Anyway, the moment they have fulfilled their vow, they start consuming alcohol again. And then we cannot say that they had no faith in God, because, they had, they believed in God, who could not do anything for them.
But just for that period, a month or two, a year, two years, they succeeded.
But now the church has this program that we use.
I forgot to mention other activities that we had.
There have been training courses for priests and doctors, but mainly for priests, in which we tried to bring specialized priests - in general they all were from the United States, either Orthodox priests, who were in recovery, who were abstinent, or psychologists, or, well, specialists - and we tried to show what's going on to the priests, because generally when families flee, they flee to the church, they run to the priest, and then if the priest knows what to say, knows what to do with them, he can direct them to us.
That does not mean that until now priests did not know or didn’t act. Certainly I have no statistics, but I know many cases where the parish priest got involved and went and talked to the people and there are many people who succeeded without the program, only with the priest’s help, managed to remain abstinent for a longer period of time. But at present our program is like a helpful hand stretching to the faithful through the priest, if they want to do something for themselves.
My great sadness is that there are many who don’t want to do anything for themselves. I think this is the greatest problem because they actually refuse, don’t want to, perhaps are self-indulgent, I don’t know, they indulge in their bad situation. The people I mean. Priests, you should know, and I say it not because I’m a priest myself, but in general they do their job well and help their people a lot. All those who have problems, or most of them, run to the priest. This means that the priest gets involved. If he would not be involved, if he didn’t do his work, surely then no one would go to church for help. In fact this is the priest’s mission, isn’t it? To save as many souls as he can. You can see for yourself that even if they built twenty or so churches in Cluj, on Sundays people can’t fit all of them inside and stand out there around the church yard listening to the service on the loudspeakers. So people are faithful and they do come.
I met a case recently: he has problems with alcohol, but goes to church. Could not become abstinent by himself. He kept struggling. Now he comes to our program, but goes to church too. Yes, there are many of them who go to church too.
I hope I’ve been helpful Oh, it’s a quarter to two! How long have I been talking?
Oh, dear me! We also have an information center because a lot of people heard about us and they come here for information. Unfortunately, some don’t return. But some return after a shorter or longer time and try to do something, either for themselves or for their loved ones because, as I believe my colleagues have told you, alcoholism is a disease of denial. So then many of those who come here are caregivers trying to help. But we have pleasant surprises too with some people who have problems and decided to change their lifestyle, because they ended in harsh and serious situations. We try to help those who come here to seek a job, we try to solve their social problems to the best of our abilities. But first of all we try to help them become abstinent. Then if they demonstrate seriousness and willingness we try to help more. We offer those who are poor, some food, I don’t know, canned food, anything, depending on the possibilities we have, but again only when they prove they have an alcohol problem and want to do something about it. Some who come here still drink - but of course, expect all sorts of aid. All who come here have social problems, which all are caused by alcohol.
But our work doesn’t take place only here, every week we go elsewhere: from Monday to Thursday two of our counselors go every day to the Psychiatric Hospital. Doctors there begin to be very understanding and realize that the medicine and what they offer in terms of health there - sure, it's beneficial to them - but often those who receive such treatment at the Psychiatric Hospital, after being released go back to alcohol. The doctors realized that it takes something more than just injections and medicines, and they agreed for us to go there. There are some patients who are in better physical shape and come to AA groups. One of our counselors goes there, chaperones them, brings them up here to the group meeting, then takes them back. We also go to the outpatient section of the Săvădisla Pulmonary Physiology Hospital. It’s twenty-five kilometers from here. We go there three times a week. Most of those who are patients there have of course serious medical and social problems because of excessive alcohol consumption and to our joy, we have people coming out of there who have recovered their life and health, work and are abstinent. It's pretty hard there. I have another colleague who is a parish priest, Father Liviu from Sânpaul, he goes there every Thursday. We started about a year ago a catechism class there, we gave a book of catechism each and we started talking about what faith, morality means and everything related in the end to religion, striving this way to make them realize who they are and to get closer to God too, and at the same time to remain abstinent. Certainly we hold service, prayer, prayers for the departed, even requiems, memorials for the dead, because there are many among those who got there having no one anymore, and when they die are buried in the cemetery close by the sanatorium and we go and offer religious services because they are deprived of prayer, of, I don’t know, closeness to God, of having someone to talk to.
It is a hospital environment, which can sometimes depress them. This happens in any hospital, especially in a sanatorium where only now one can see some repairs made with state grants, but I remember the first time I was there, it was unacceptable. It's an old building, in poor shape, unkempt Sure the cleanliness in there meets hospital standards, but still it’s a sanatorium where they’re all sick and many of them think, "I don’t what to live. I am sick. Surely I will die soon." Some of them when they first saw us, priests, were reluctant, recoiled when we went there, I don’t know, to talk to some of them or to give confession, or read them a prayer. Some said, "Which one of us will die next?" But slowly things have changed and we convinced them and explained that our presence there is in fact to help them, to pray for them, to pray together with them and eventually to help them become abstinent, for that's the program’s goal.
We also go with the team, on turns, to the outpatient department of the Psychiatric Hospital in Borșa, about forty kilometers from Cluj and of course people hospitalized there have mental problems, but still there are a few that you can communicate with. There are many who ended up there because of excessive alcohol consumption. There too we try to do all kinds of meditation. I failed to tell you in Săvădisla some groups of Alcoholics Anonymous came together. Even if we don’t go, they gather each day, discuss, we send them "meditations" for each day, they read and discuss them. At present we go only twice a week, though we used to go three times a week, we narrowed our activity, so we could be more present in the city.
We also have a program that we operate in Orthodox parishes. We take a parish; we go in for about four weeks, once a week, usually at the evening vespers. The priest announces ahead of time in church that we will come on Sundays when many people come to church and those who are interested can receive our information.
I strongly believe that even if we manage to bring one out of a thousand people from the parish it’s good. Not all thousand of them consume alcohol, but most of them, and I say that if we manage to help even one man become abstinent, it's a great victory. Certainly, if there are more of them, things are even more encouraging.
I’m saying this to you because the first parish in which we started last year we went eight weeks. And at one point it was only me and the priest. No one came, though the father said on Sundays he receives a lot of requests for prayer in which he is asked to pray for "X" and "Y" who has problems with alcohol, but no one would come to church to receive our aid, or even our information. Finally one person came. First the care taker, then the person who consumed alcohol. In the beginning he was harder to communicate with, but along the way he opened up and recovered and he is now sober. And I said, "It was worth those eight weeks when we went as a whole team, with all kinds of materials." Many times we sat about and discussed between ourselves because there was no one else, but it was worth it. He came, and behold, the family did not break apart, he doesn’t drink alcohol anymore, and they resumed their normal life like any family would have.
This is the program that we operate in parishes.
We also have a program that we operate in Gherla Penitentiary. We have a protocol/agreement with the Maximum Security Prison at Gherla where participants are chosen by the prison staff, and we go once a week, on Thursdays, where we present various topics, talk with them, actually try to do a counseling program so that when they leave prison they should know what to do.
The first cycle that we conducted there, the prisoners they chose had very long convictions, all committed on the basis of excessive alcohol consumption, were sentenced for twenty five years, fifteen years. Certainly, for those freedom is pretty far off, but now we have inmates with shorter sentences, who also committed crimes based on excessive alcohol consumption and they are very receptive. Around eleven, twelve, thirteen people are part of the group. Sure they are very affected emotionally by what happened to them, so, you are overwhelmed by their intense feelings, but I think they are receptive and perhaps by raising their consciousness, letting them know what to do when they come out, perhaps some will come to us, stay close by, and try to remain abstinent.
There too, in Gherla Prison, we started a group of Alcoholics Anonymous. Sure there are other projects that we undertake. We tried to work with companies, because many employers acknowledged that they have many employees who use alcohol excessively and have problems because of it. Some are more receptive, others less. Here if one worker drinks, no problem, you fire him and hire another one. But when people start to know their rights I think ultimately it's our moral duty to help our neighbor whether you’re an owner or not. And then there are so many companies with good craftsmen, professionals, or with people who have been trained involving time and money expenditure, so employers prefer to give them a chance by sending them to us and that, on one hand helps the employee to stop drinking and become sober, on the other helps the company, because he doesn’t have to retrain another worker, and so we try to go to companies, contact their office of Human Resources.
We even contacted trade unions that are actually closer to people.
I think things start to move and improve from this point of view too.
And then other activities, I don’t know, we have all kinds of radio broadcasts; some activities might escape my memory now. So, we inform family doctor’s offices. We ask for their support since many who drink alcohol end up going there, where else? They have other health problems, troubles, and so they go to the doctor. Here, if you want to go to a hospital or get some blood work done you are forced to go through your family doctor. And we figured that the family doctor knows the family situation, and he can refer his patients to us. Also last year we sent advisors at the seminar theological school in the citizenry classes to discuss with children what alcohol is, the fact that alcoholism is a disease which, I must admit that when I was sent here by His Holy Grace Vasile I didn’t know that. Sure, I knew that it is a temptation; that it is a great sin, but I did not know that it is deemed a disease. I remember that was the first thing Floyd, the program coordinator, asked me, and my answer was, "It's not illness, it’s a temptation." He said nothing to me. He gave me a book, "Read it, father, and next week when we meet we’ll talk." The first thing I did when I got home, I read the whole book, from cover to cover – it’s a textbook/manual for priests and doctors written by Floyd Franz, the coordinator, this American Orthodox missionary - and I realized that I made a mistake. I came here uninformed and indeed alcoholism is a disease and should be treated as such. No other activities I remember now of, but they pop up all the time.
We try to be all the time close to people, to help, to offer spiritual support. Because when you consume alcohol excessively you get estranged from the family, from your close ones, and most certainly get estranged from God. And when you lose God things start to unravel. We try to help them realize that and bring them closer.
I knew at some point a man who when he came here said he didn’t believe in God at all. He was an atheist. And because this program is also a spiritual program he slowly rediscovered, or discovered, God because he did not discover Him until then though he had a fairly advanced age. He began to feel that things are different when you believe in God, when you ask for His help, when you communicate with God through prayer and good deeds. He began to read the Saint Scriptures and realized that without God's help he can’t do anything.
Perhaps that's why I was assigned here, and as far as I know, Floyd was the one who repeatedly asked the Archdiocese of Cluj to send and appoint a priest to the team of social workers, psychologists and other specialists here. And so I got to work in this program. Well, my opinion is that without God you can’t do anything. I believe that those who come here and accept to receive our help they slowly-slowly discover God. I believe we can’t do anything in life without God.
Sure maybe in their hearts they don’t believe at all, but so many times there is a crumb of faith and maybe they pray to God sometimes. But, I believe that without God they can’t do anything, so they discover Him. When they come here, and read, because I believe those with alcohol problems don’t have enough information, don’t know what to do, don’t know how to behave. Same with their family. Many times I’ve heard, "Well, my husband drinks alcohol excessively. Well, I took his bottle and emptied it in the sink and threw it all out. Or I’d hide it and, well, I don’t know where he found another one and still drank." Then we’d hear from those who consume excessive alcohol, "Well, when I saw my wife throwing my vodka down the sink, I felt I was exploding. I wanted to beat her up and go and buy two bottles." "And?" "And I bought", he says, "and I drank two bottles with even more gusto." But the minute the family, and eventually the one consuming alcohol, figured it out what to do, know how to behave, things changed. I remember last year, I think someone came in Iași, for this program was implemented in Iași, and Craiova, currently in Moldavian Republic too. Someone came in Iași, a young man who just stopped drinking. Asking how he managed to quit he said because of his wife. His wife heard about the Al-Anon program, for close ones. She went there and learned what to do and how to behave. This gentleman said, "At one point I felt that my wife changed, was different. I didn’t understand why she didn’t yell at me, I didn’t understand why she didn’t cry, why she didn’t throw out my drink. All her behavior was different. As if I had no more reasons to drink." And in a year this woman learning what to do and how to behave and how to deal with him and how to talk to him, persuaded him to come to our program. He came. He said that at one point she brought leaflets for him to read. He says, "At first I threw them, torn them up, but then at some point, I thought, let me read a bit, just have a look. I've just opened them," he says, "when my wife arrived home. I heard that she turned the key in the door. I quickly put them back in place, arranged them so she wouldn’t see that I touched them or that I've read them. I put them back. Well, that afternoon," he says, "I was so restless and wanted her to leave, so I could read further on alone. Out of pride, perhaps, so she wouldn’t see me..." The next day he read them all and slowly the man managed to come to the group. So I think people are definitely different. The only thing is to find the manner and means by which one can be made aware of the problem he has. I think that those who consume alcohol excessively, have moments when they realize the mistakes they make, that they can’t stop, but sure, it's hard to acknowledge that, but with a little help they manage to admit that they are powerless before that first glass. So I don’t know have statistics for you, but I’m sure it's a serious issue. I don’t think there is any extended family without at least one person consuming alcohol excessively. Almost everyone has someone in the family or a close relative who has such problems. And there are many in the countryside, there are many here in the city, there are very many who can’t drink alcohol in a controlled way, who can’t stop after one glass. I think it's a problem. Well, I think that if we take the statistics of alcohol sales Romania is at the top. Excessive alcohol consumption affects everything: relationships with people, relationships at work. Many companies are having problems with such employees who are not able to go to work without having a drink before or during work. And I think that it’s a very serious problem. You know what's going on? In general, maybe the lack of strong faith, but I think one reason can be poverty. It’s the, "I don’t have money." Although it may seem paradoxical because normally, at least according to my thinking, if I’m poor and don’t have very much money, well I try to manage that money so it serves me to eat better or to have heat, or to get something useful and not give my little money to alcohol. I think the church had no such program up to now. Certainly priests had tried and try even today, and they talk to them and try to make them realize the problem they have, but there was no prevention work done.
And now it's already late. See, for generations, if you go and look at those who come to AA, they all are forty, fifty years old, they’re coming from another time, the time of communism. That does not mean that there are no alcoholic youth. Alcoholism is disease that progresses over time. They need perhaps ten, fifteen years, so the one who is now twenty, thirty years old for sure in ten, fifteen years from now will end up here too, if he doesn’t stop drinking. All they knew back then, before leaving for work, especially in the countryside, was to take that bottle of alcohol with them either because it was cold, or to get an appetite, and without realizing it
Many come to church asking the priest to take an oath of abstinence. That is they come in front of the Holy Altar, get their hands on the Bible and touch the cross and swear before God that they’ll stop drinking for a period of time. The church uses even today this means through which for a period of time a person won’t drink. Sure there is the possibility he’ll break his oath, which is serious in terms of faith, because once you made a vow to God and you have broken it, His wrath and punishment will descend on you. Anyway, the moment they have fulfilled their vow, they start consuming alcohol again. And then we cannot say that they had no faith in God, because, they had, they believed in God, who could not do anything for them.
But just for that period, a month or two, a year, two years, they succeeded.
But now the church has this program that we use. I forgot to mention other activities that we had.
There have been training courses for priests and doctors, but mainly for priests, in which we tried to bring specialized priests - in general they all were from the United States, either Orthodox priests, who were in recovery, who were abstinent, or psychologists, or, well, specialists - and we tried to show what's going on to the priests, because generally when families flee, they flee to the church, they run to the priest, and then if the priest knows what to say, knows what to do with them, he can direct them to us.
That does not mean that until now priests did not know or didn’t act. Certainly I have no statistics, but I know many cases where the parish priest got involved and went and talked to the people and there are many people who succeeded without the program, only with the priest’s help, managed to remain abstinent for a longer period of time. But at present our program is like a helpful hand stretching to the faithful through the priest, if they want to do something for themselves.
My great sadness is that there are many who don’t want to do anything for themselves. I think this is the greatest problem because they actually refuse, don’t want to, perhaps are self-indulgent, I don’t know, they indulge in their bad situation. The people I mean. Priests, you should know, and I say it not because I’m a priest myself, but in general they do their job well and help their people a lot. All those who have problems, or most of them, run to the priest. This means that the priest gets involved. If he would not be involved, if he didn’t do his work, surely then no one would go to church for help. In fact this is the priest’s mission, isn’t it? To save as many souls as he can. You can see for yourself that even if they built twenty or so churches in Cluj, on Sundays people can’t fit all of them inside and stand out there around the church yard listening to the service on the loudspeakers. So people are faithful and they do come.
I met a case recently: he has problems with alcohol, but goes to church. Could not become abstinent by himself. He kept struggling. Now he comes to our program, but goes to church too. Yes, there are many of them who go to church too. I hope I’ve been helpful Oh, it’s a quarter to two! How long have I been talking?
Oh, dear me!
November, 2008
Cluj Napoca
Well, here you have it: If you’d like to throw a bit of money my way to keep my endeavors going, and also enable me to spread the money to my various causes, witnessing democracy, freedom of speech and faith, and engineering social change thru art being one of them, I’d be grateful.
June 12th 2013
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